These first few weeks of 2007 have been eventful ones, to say the least. Let me share a few brief synopses with you all, so that you might share in my wonderment.
My New Years was spent at a local drinking/karaoke/dancing establishment with a group of friends, a few of whom I agreed to be the designated driver for, which proved to be the biggest mistake of 2006 (yes, even bigger than that ENORMOUSLY LARGE mistake I made while visiting Snaps' hometown... a mistake which involved one wayward finger and a lot of COME HERE's). We attended this event on the invitation of one of a blog readers (thanks Isabelehere!)
, and although it was a relatively last minute decision, I'm really glad we went. I admittedly slammed a few appletini's and some champagne before midnight (and don't you judge me- if I'm going to pay $30 to get into a place then I'm AT LEAST going to enjoy a few of the amenities), but stopped drinking abruptly in order to sober up by closing time. Afterwards, we attended an NAACP party hosted by an old high school theatre buddy, which proved to be EXCEPTIONALLY AWKWARD, especially considering the six of us were the only NON African Americans among the 80 or so party attendees. Luckily, we were immediately welcomed with open arms by our old friend, and the rest of the crowd followed suit upon realizing we all grew up together in the 'hood. Eventually, I was able to chauffer everyone home safely and fell into bed a mere hour before I needed to wake up for work. Typical.
The niece recently celebrated her first birthday, and believe me when I say she is getting more adorable by the minute. She talks, she walks (correction: RUNS), she claps, she dances, she sings, she EATS, and she french kisses. She is such a total joy to be around, and she has the entire family eating out of her palm, especially Grandpa Leg, or "Papa" as she calls him. She adores her Papa, and despite his best efforts, my dad has turned into a total softie because of her. This is the man who moved to a RETIREMENT COMMUNITY at the age of 50 because he was tired of hearing all of those "loud ass god damn kids" who dare to talk, laugh, walk, breathe and exist within a one mile radius of my grumpy old man's presence. But his granddaughter? He changes her poopy diapers and chases her around the house and pretends to eat her toes and teaches her about football and sings the ABC's with her and lets her lick the rim of his vodka glass. He's in love. And so are the rest of us, for that matter.
On a more personal note, I have a raging yeast infection which makes it nearly impossible for me to even function in public. I've only ever experienced this once before, in college, and I must have been too continuously drunk back then to really remember the intense pain associated with it. I've recently considered amputation from the waist down. My vag region is a fucking public hazard zone of epic proportions, and I'm thinking of applying to FIMA for federal disaster relief aid, because in case you didn't already know, Monistat is fucking expensive. And messy.
I'm hoping that sometime next month before my move, I will receive a visit from my dearest internet friend and co-bloggee. HINT, HINT SNAP- BUY YOUR FUCKING PLANE TICKET BEFORE I SHAVE YOUR BALD SPOT IN YOUR SLEEP. (If that wasn't the most anti-climactic threat I've ever made in my life, then I count myself a complete and utter failure as a human being). It's crawfish season down here in the South, and Lord knows that last time Snap was in my hometown we ate a trough of crawfish weighing more than one of those morbidly obese babies on Maury, in addition to some fried alligator, fried pickles, and a few beers. I haven't been back to that HEAVENLY establishment since she left, because inhaling crawfish between puffs of Marlboros and swigs of Shiner just isn't the same without my favorite Midwesterner.
And finally, the topic you've all been waiting for (or maybe not), THE MOVE.
I can't tell you all how supremely stressful this whole thing has been, and I'm not even going to try to explain all my woes to you here. That being said, after setting many of the wheels in motion to relocate to the West Coast, I've decided that there are about one million too many reasons why moving across the country RIGHT NOW is a terrible idea. I feel like a major pussy sell-out saying this, but I might as well just put it out there: I'm staying here for at least a few more months. In many ways I dread the thought of that, but at the same time I'm still a bit excited. I will be relocating to a different city within the state, keeping me much closer to my friends and family for the time being, which is supremely important to me right now for numerous reasons. I will potentially be ready to get my surf on around late May, barring my unforseen death or dismemberment.
So that's what's new with me. A relatively boring and unfunny post, I know, but I felt like I needed to get the '07 update out of the way before anything else. Hope the new year is going well for all of our readers out there (meaning Snaps' mom) and may 2007 bring lots of good news and great times!